Waves aren’t only found on the beach, are they? If you’re like me, your hair has waves, but waves can also be abstract (thank you, FPR for giving me the word I was seeking), like a wave of sound. However, the waves I am talking about cannot be heard by anyone and only one person can feel them when they develop. They are waves of things like fatigue, nausea or hunger.
Just a few days ago, I was thinking about and enjoying the relative hiatus in my fatigue – tempting providence, some might say. I’m not sure if “tempting providence” would be the right description: I prefer to describe it as appreciating the good times. Anyway, within a few hours the good times had rolled.
It began on Saturday morning with me feeling quiet. I know that might seem like a strange word to describe how one is, but, really, it is the best word I can come up with to describe my whole demeanor. When I’m quiet, I don’t feel ill, but neither do I feel well; I don’t feel like doing anything but neither do I want to be doing nothing – it has to be a very low-key activity; I don’t feel like talking, or listening, but I don’t want silence – just some low background sound from something like the TV or radio. This “quiet” feeling lasted several hours then the waves began.
The first wave swept across me when I had popped upstairs for some reason. It was an “I don’t feel right” kind of wave. By the time I had gone back downstairs, the next wave was hitting: fatigue, followed quickly by a wave of hunger. As I hope you can tell, the waves were coming thick and fast. Hunger was followed by fatigue, which was being chased by nausea which, in turn, had hunger hard on its heels, but fatigue wasn’t letting hunger get away with that and quickly overtook it. It was a peculiar sensation having so many feelings sweeping over me. I really needed to sleep.
Nowadays, when fatigue hits, I have a sleep in my recliner chair. I don’t like going to bed during the day as I tend to sleep too deeply. Usually, sleeping in the chair in sufficient to refresh me. (I realise how lucky I am that my sleeping does tend to restore me.) However, when I tried to settle in my chair, I realised that it wasn’t where I needed to be. My body wanted to be lying down so, for the first time for many months, I lay on the sofa, but as soon as I lay down another wave of hunger hit, quickly followed by nausea. I knew that I needed to eat something, despite the sporadic waves of nausea. I grabbed a breakfast bar and managed to eat it before the nausea reappeared. As soon as I finished eating, I lay down again, falling asleep within a short time.
When I awoke, I felt much better and got through the rest of Saturday with no problem. Sunday was fairly good. On Monday morning, I had my regular post-breakfast nap but it lasted longer, and was deeper, than usual. I was awake in time to go to my regular Monday morning activity and was pretty much OK for the rest of the day – “OK” meaning I was able to do a little, then rest, then do some more and rest some more. I was more tired than usual in the evening and retired to bed earlier than I normally would. I slept well and got up around my usual time and had a cup of tea before my post-breakfast nap (P-BN). The only thing was that my P-BN was just the start: no sooner had I woken from it than I fell asleep. That sleep went on for longer than I would have liked as, by the time I came to, it was too late for me to go to Tuesday morning’s activity. That was disappointing as fatigue and other reasons have prevented me from attending several of those meetings.
I am due to go out this evening and am desperately hoping that, by taking things easy today, I shall be sufficiently hale and hearty to be able to go tonight. Fingers crossed!