Well, at least I didn’t feel as miserable when I awoke. However, neither did I feel as excited as I should have. My new sewing machine was due to arrive and, in the normal course of events, I would have been jumpy, chatty and as excited as a child in a sweetie shop – but I wasn’t. At some times during the morning I felt a bit of excitement, but I was certainly nowhere near as hyper as those who know me would expect. Usually, I can get excited about the opening of a brown paper bag!
There was a pile of ironing to be done so I decided I would attack it. After I had washed and dressed, I did a couple of small things upstairs then went down and prepared to make an assault on the ironing. I erected the ironing board and plugged in the iron. Ah! Plugging in the iron was like unplugging my energy supply. I suddenly felt really tired. No, “really tired” doesn’t describe it: it wasn’t the same as when you’re ready for bed. The tiredness felt more specific, more like an actual illness, as though it was a tangible thing: I wonder if describing it as an invisible coat that’s too small would give someone an idea of how it felt? However I describe it or you understand it, it was sudden and it was effective: not something that would be easy to ignore… so I didn’t ignore it. I made sure the iron was not switched on and I rested.
That set the tone for the day: do a but, feel exhausted, rest a bit. It continued even when I started playing with my sewing machine. Normally, I would be sitting here saying “snot fair!” But I don’t have the energy. That is disappointing. I have just realised that Fibro stole that from me: stole part of who I am, what I do, what makes me Dina. Well, I’m not having it! I won’t accept it! Fibro is not going to win that point. It’s too much a part of me. OK, so it won on that occasion, but it won’t always.
Oh dear. I’m going to have to fight this, aren’t I? Simply rolling over and accepting it isn’t going to work, is it? Oh, bother! That means I can’t be as lazy as usual. Hmph! ‘Snot fair!