Self Confidence and Fibromyalgia

Actually this post is not so much about self-confidence as about coping with day-to-day life.

I mentioned in a recent post that I tend to be the one in the family who sorts things out. My style is “bossy”. No, that’s just how it comes across. Really my style is “push ahead so that doubts don’t have a chance to make me crumble”. Well, that style is not working at the moment. Fibro appears to be playing “hide and seek” with my ability to just push on and do things.

Today we are heading off for a visit to my mother for several days. I always pack my case at the last minute – if I do it earlier I forget things. So, at about 8.30 pm yesterday I began my packing. At 8.45pm all that was left to do was sort out my medication. Oh, and that’s when my troubles began. When I went to pull out what I needed I had run out  of THREE different drugs. I also realised that I don’t have sufficient supplies of Gabapentin to carry me to when my GP wants to see me. I had submitted a request for a repeat prescription for all but the Gabapentin at the weekend but I did not have what I needed to pack.

I went into meltdown.

I was trying to calculate what I needed to pack but kept getting confused about what I had put where, how much I had of any particular drug and the amount I would have to take on the trip. My anxiety levels were sky-high, I was near to tears and panicking.

In the normal course of events I would have simply calculated what needed to be where, how much was needed and how I was going to get it. But this wasn’t the normal course of events. “Normal” has changed, and it’s hellish scary.

Apart from the drug debacle, I am feeling anxious about how I shall cope at my mother’s. Previously, visits have entailed dashing about, sorting, organising, chucking out and going out. I just don’t know how much energy I shall have to be able to carry out my usual tasks. I like to be able to help my mother during my visits and to take her out and about but I do feel somewhat anxious at the prospect. This is the first time I have seen her since Tiredness began attacking me so it will be a new experience all round.

 

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About Bossymamma

Bossymamma's Fibro Diary charts how I feel and how I cope with Fibromyalgia and the effects it has on me and my life. Writing it helps me and, maybe, reading it will help someone else. Bossymamma's Ramblings is exactly that! It may be me chuntering on about life. It could be a short story I've written. You never know, it might even be a poem! Little by Little by Bossymamma is about all things crafty.
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5 Responses to Self Confidence and Fibromyalgia

  1. Anne Greenhalgh says:

    Dina, if I’d known it was Gabapentin you were short of, I’d brought you some this morning, you could’ve always given me them back when yours arrived.
    I am so-o-o-o-o proud of you for doing this blog. You are saying what many Fibromyalgia sufferers would love to say and you are doing it so well. Stripping yourself bare is a very, very brave thing to do and my admiration of you (which is very high to start with) just grows and grows every time I read your Fibro blog. I will recommend your Fibro blog to everyone I know, it deserves to be read and they will gain from the experience.

    Like

    • Bossymamma says:

      Thanks, Anne. Disaster was averted as my son took me to collect them and then dropped them at home after taking me to the station. Now, excuse me whilst I cringe with embarrassment in the corner after your kind comments. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. z4zed says:

    My mother has always been a consummate packer and organized person. We were just talking about packing and remembering/forgetting things last night on the phone. I’ve always had a sharp memory for details but recently have found it deteriorating as it always will under stress and illness Lists and checklists have saved me. I have to pack for overnight trips every week. She is 89 and I think those lists and her habits continue to combat that forgetfulness that gets us all as we (dare I admit it?) age.

    Like

    • Bossymamma says:

      I like to pack at the last minute as I am less likely to forget things. I might make a note beforehand if I need to take anything out of the ordinary, but otherwise I just do it on autopilot.

      Like

  3. z4zed says:

    As many people do work best under a bit of pressure, I can appreciate this. Also the story was a good reminder to renew a prescription!

    Liked by 1 person

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