Wondering (or Worrying) About How I Will Be

I am on a visit with my mother at the moment. I am actually staying with a friend who lives a few miles away.

Embarking on the visit was a scary prospect for several reasons: how would I cope with journey, what if I had an attack of tiredness on the way, would I be able to carry out all the various tasks for her, would she be able to cope with me being exhausted, and so on.

I tried not to be too concerned about the visit beforehand, but having a condition like Fibromyalgia, that seems to be so unpredictable, can make ordinary activities rather worrisome.

Today we were going shopping for household items. My mother wasn’t well so that her care needs were even higher during our shopping expedition than they had been yesterday. This, in itself, is exhausting mentally and physically, but when worries about how well I would hold up during the day are added it becomes even more so.

I find that when I am doing something when I’m feeling OK, I am on edge, worrying about if that “wall” will appear and the exhaustion engulf me. I am assuming (and hoping) that the anticipation of a slump will ease off as I become more used to having Fibro. Yes, I know that I am very lucky not to be having the pain and other symptoms that other sufferers have, but I really am finding that being constantly on edge is mentally exhausting, as well as being a pain in the neck!

I probably sound like a Moaning Minnie (apologies to all the Minnies in the world), but that’s the point of this diary: to be honest about how Fibro affects me.

Actually, it has just occurred to me that life being so hectic at the moment is probably not helping me to come to terms with my diagnosis. Dr. Azeer obviously realised this which would be why he said we would look at and consider other treatments and therapies after Christmas. He really is a great GP!


2 thoughts on “Wondering (or Worrying) About How I Will Be

  1. As far as I’m concerned Dina, this your blog and you are entitled to say whatever you want. It is about you coming to terms with your diagnosis and learning how it effects you, when, how, etc. How can do that, if you are holding back – when you ‘get used to it’, you won’t have as many questions and you won’t be worrying and wondering as much.

    Liked by 1 person

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