Yesterday, being Wednesday, was the day that I had to increase my dosage of Gabapentin. I am working my way up to taking three capsules three times a day. Oh gosh, that’s a lot of those large lumps to swallow! I am having trouble remembering to take the afternoon dose and when I forget it throws everything else into disarray because of other medication that I am on. Hmph.
Anyway, yesterday I had to increase the morning dose of Gabapentin to two capsules. Having already increased the evening and afternoon doses to that level, I didn’t anticipate any problems. However, soon after taking my morning medication, I became suddenly very tired, which is not unusual. What is unusual is that I also felt extremely nauseous. I didn’t really feel as though I was going to vomit, although I was only a hair’s breadth away from feeling like it but, my goodness, I felt ill. I had to collapse into bed… immediately. The trouble was that I had telephoned a friend just a few minutes before to say I would be arriving shortly so I had to ring her to say that plan had been aborted. Luckily, Peter was around and brought my phone to me so that I only needed to press a couple of buttons otherwise I don’t think I would have managed to ring.
I collapsed into the bed and fell asleep immediately. I slept for two and a half hours or more. When I awoke I was so pleased that the feeling of nausea and the exhaustion had passed. That is another way in which I am lucky with my Fibromyalgia at the moment: when I sleep, when I waken I do refreshed. Many sufferers don’t feel refreshed when they have slept. That is not nice. As I say, I am lucky.
Another change that has taken place is that I am starting to feel hints of pain in some of the well-known tender points in my body. Again, I am lucky as what I am feeling is just a touch of sensation rather than actual pain. It’s more a case of Fibro saying “Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten you”, followed by an evil laugh.
What I have just written probably sounds like the words of a madwoman but allow me to explain. The Fibromyalgia feels to me like an entity, almost a person, with its own identity, its own character: so to me it makes perfect sense that it would talk. If that makes me ‘not right in the head’ then so be it – that explanation works for me. It helps me to deal with the reality of living with Fibromyalgia and the possible things it could do to me, and with me, in the future. So what, if it’s weird? I don’t actually care! It doesn’t matter and isn’t up to others to judge me: I’m the one having to cope with my Fibromyalgia.
Sorry. I was becoming a little belligerent there.
The changes in pain, or ‘sensation’, probably don’t seem like much to anyone else and, I suppose, in themselves they are not much, but it’s what they may presage that is so frightening. I don’t like pain. I don’t like being in pain. I’m a pathetic weed when it comes to pain. How will I cope if Little Miss Fibro decides to throw the Pain Book at me?
I’m stopping now as I don’t want to think about it any more.