The period from my last post until now has been very similar to the days that post described. I have definitely been below par: whenever I felt that I had energy, it would soon melt away as soon as I began to do anything. The pool of fatigue that was left would be eased by my sleeping for a while, but wouldn’t disappear over the horizon.
One problem with having the fatigue hanging around on the horizon, never really disappearing, is that it makes me fearful of overdoing things. I daren’t walk to the postbox in case I suddenly walk into that wall of complete exhaustion. If I go to Tottington on Thursday evening, will I be able to drive home safely, or will I be completely overcome by tiredness? I knew that I had these feelings but I hadn’t realised how much they were affecting me until I was discussing them with my GP, Dr. Azeer, on Friday morning. Once I began to talk, all sorts of things came to the surface that I hadn’t really thought about. In truth, I think I have been afraid of thinking about them. I didn’t want to be swamped by negative feelings about Fibro: after all, if that happened I might not be able to find my way back to the surface…
It was quite a revelation to me, hearing myself vocalising those thoughts and feelings. It wasn’t surprising that my mood was low when I left.
Dr. Azeer and I also discussed how I had been since beginning to take Gabapentin and, more particularly, since I had been on the maximum dose. I told him that I had been completing an online diary relating to the Fibro which I had found useful as it helped me to keep track of my symptoms. (The online diary is one of the elements of http://www.patientslikeme.com .) I told him that I was still experiencing frequent bouts of fatigue and that I had only had three “Very Good” days since November. He explained two possible regimens and, together, we decided to phase out the Gabapentin with a view to my changing to Amitriptyline. This will also require me to cease taking Citalopram as it cannot be taken in conjunction with Amitriptyline. What we are hoping is that taking Amitriptyline will effectively treat the fatigue caused by the Fibro, as well as my long-standing depression – a tall order but worth a try! I have detailed instructions for how and when to reduce the dosages, when to stop and when to start, what dose to take of the new drug, when to increase it and how much to increase it by! I made sure to write it all down so that I don’t forget nor become confused about all of it.
My goodness, there’s a lot involved in this Fibro lark, isn’t there?