You may have guessed that yesterday was not a “good day” for me. Actually it turned out to be a hugely better day than either Saturday or Sunday, but it still wasn’t good. I did manage to stay awake for much of the day but I wasn’t up to doing much. The sum total of my achievements for yesterday was:
- Writing my Fibro Diary post
- Knitting three rows of a child’s hat in the morning
- Knitting four rows of said child’s hat in the evening (I shouldn’t have knitted the fourth, it was a row “too far”).
During the day I spent some time watching trashy TV programmes and some time online. It was during one of the online periods that I read a post on Facebook, ostensibly written by Fibromyalgia. It was on the Fibromyalgia UK Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Fibromyalgia-UK/127650910695587?fref=nf
It was quite a lengthy piece and I don’t intend to reproduce the entire thing here. However, I did request, and was granted, permission to use some of it. So, here goes:
Hi….My Name is Fibromyalgia, and I’m an Invisible Chronic Illness. I am now velcroed to you for life. Others around you can’t see me or hear me, but YOUR body feels me. I can attack you anywhere and anyhow I please. I can cause severe pain or, if I’m in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.
Remember when you and Energy ran around together and had fun?
I took Energy from you, and gave you Exhaustion. Try to have fun now! I also took Good Sleep from you and, in its place, gave you Brain Fog. I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal. Oh, yeah, I can make you feel anxious or depressed, too. If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take that away, too. You didn’t ask for me. I chose you for various reasons: That virus you had that you never recovered from, or that car accident, or maybe it was the years of abuse and trauma. Well, anyway, I’m here to stay!
I hear you’re going to see a doctor … You will be put on pain pills, sleeping pills, energy pills, … given a TENs unit, get massaged… you cry to the doctor how debilitating life is every day.
Your family, friends… will all listen to you… hearing about how I make you feel, and that I’m a debilitating disease…while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity trying to make them understand, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation with a “Normal” person, and can’t remember what you were going to say next!
I have edited the piece removing sections to make it more relevant to my situation. Please remember, though, that Fibro is different for each sufferer. Remember also that it’s not just the person with Fibro who suffers, but also those closest to her or him.
I hope that reading both this and yesterday’s posts will help you to understand a bit more about how it feels to have Fibromyalgia. And I sincerely hope that you are never affected by it.