It’s official: my Fibromyalgia is having a full-blown flare. Hardly surprising really, especially considering my belief (and, I believe, that of my GP) that the reason my body succumbed to Fibro in the first place was because of stress. And, boy, do I have plenty of that at the moment!
The saga of my mother’s stay in hospital continues. Not only that, but it becomes more complicated, seemingly by the hour. Wednesday was a particularly fraught day, made more so by the amount of travelling Peter and I had to do in order to attend a special event for his family. The day was very long and excruciatingly exhausting and I am still trying to recover from it. I’m sure I hardly need to tell you that Wednesday was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The Fibro flare hit with a vengeance. How dare I try to live a reasonable life with so much going on? Don’t I know I have Fibromyalgia? Well, yes, actually. I do know. There are times when one needs to not collapse in a heap, and this is one of those times. Unfortunately, though, no-one has managed to convince the Fibro of that.
These last two days the tiredness and fatigue have been extreme. At one point yesterday, I was so worn out I hardly had the energy to breathe. Have you any idea how much energy it actually takes to breathe in and then out again? Well, let me tell you, it takes a humungously huge amount! The effort required was leaving me feeling that breathing was counterproductive. In other words, I seemed to be using more energy actually breathing than I was gaining by taking in the oxygen from each breath. That sensation can feel quite scary.
I think yesterday the fatigue felt worse than at any other time since the Fibro invaded my body. I was totally wiped out. For most of the day I couldn’t do anything: I couldn’t concentrate on television or the computer, if I attempted to do any sewing I just felt heavy-limbed and enervated after just a few stitches. I was just a blob.
Today has been very slightly better but everything has still needed far more effort than I could realistically muster. Obviously I have still had to make lots of telephone calls to hospitals and the like, but it has been very difficult to stay on even keel during the calls.
I need the Fibro flare to subside but, for that to happen, there needs to be a significant reduction in my stress levels. Unfortunately, that is unlikely to happen any time soon.