A Very Strange Sensation

Looking forward to my “special place”

There was something odd about Sunday, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. A strange sensation that I knew should be familiar, although I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. By Monday morning, however, I had realised what was different… I wasn’t feeling completely stressed out. In fact, I think I would almost go so far as to say that I was really rather r-e-l-a-x-e-d. Yes, really! It’s no wonder I didn’t immediately recognise it as it’s been a while since I have felt that way.

And, it didn’t just happen on Sunday: it continued in to Monday, and even Tuesday. It felt absolutely, bl**dy amazing! Not only that, but there was precious little evidence of the Fibromyalgia to be found on those days.

Ooh, I really enjoyed that light-headed feeling! Which was just as well, as I was back down with a bump yesterday: feeling myself winding up, familiar twinges of Fibro-related pain and tiredness leaping upon me, making me feel decidedly unwell and that awful dizziness compounding matters. Luckily, the tiredness and feeling unwell lifted after I had gone to bed in the afternoon and rested for a couple of hours. I usually don’t like to return to bed during the day but, yesterday, bed felt like the only place that would help.

Today has been different again. Today I have been literally faced by one of the two enormously stressful situations that are going on in my life at the moment. You could be forgiven for thinking that I had turned into a politician today as, clearly, there have been questions that have had to be asked and difficult decisions to be made. I am on the horns of a dilemma. I try to be a truthful and honest person, but sharing the truth with two of the most important people in my life will cause each of them pain and anguish. On the other hand, if I lie to them, instead… well, I’m lying to them, aren’t I? And I’m being dishonest, at a time when they deserve the respect my being honest would afford them.

It would be fair to say that I am currently in an unenviable position. Not only that, but so are the other most important people in my life: they can see what is happening but are powerless to help.

I cannot express how thankful I am that the Fibro is allowing me to function. I really don’t know what I would do if the inevitable flare-up were to appear in the midst of all this.