This week is all about moving along – life moving along and me… trying to!
Earlier in the week I went to see the Amazing Dr A. He looked surprised when he saw me hobbling in with my walking stick, understandably so. The last time I saw him, earlier this year, I was far more mobile but things have gone downhill since then. During my appointment he wrote a short letter in support of my application for a Blue Disabled Badge. I had, mistakenly, thought that the issuing authority would contact him for a report. However, when checking through the paperwork, I saw that I have to arrange for evidence from my GP. That d*mned Fibro Fog makes it so difficult to take in information. Grrr.
This evening, I decided to try walking to the postbox at the end of our road. I had a letter to post but didn’t want to have to use the car. I set off with my trusty walking stick at my new usual pace but it didn’t take long to slow down even more. I was shocked at how quickly I ended up walking so very slowly. I stopped to chat with a neighbour then continued on my way. I noticed that the camber of the pavement was making it more difficult for me to walk – I just couldn’t find my balance. I was going even more slowly and felt as though I was almost stationary on the final stretch, near the postbox. When I began the return journey it registered in my brain that I had been walking uphill. I could really feel a difference in my gait because of walking downhill. It isn’t much of a slope, but I definitely noticed the way it affected my walking.
Soon after leaving the postbox my left foot didn’t place well and I stumbled. You know when you lose your balance and you end up almost running because you can’t keep control of your feet? Well, that’s what was happening to me: I could feel myself heading for the edge of the pavement, towards the road. Yikes! It was scary. Somehow I managed to stop myself falling and to bring my left foot under control. I had to stop for a short while to gather myself. It had given me a fright. I set off again towards home. I was going extremely slowly but not tottering quite as much as on the way to the postbox. I decided to walk in the road because the camber of the pavement was causing me problems: it certainly helped, especially as my left foot was beginning to twist over. I can’t tell you how pleased and relieved I was to reach home!
Moving on, this week I have an assessment with an occupational therapist in relation to my application for a Blue Disabled Badge. I have been very anxious about the whole process: completing the online application form, fighting the fog to understand what is needed and now, also, the impending assessment appointment. The Amazing Dr A was very encouraging when I saw him but I still feel anxious. My boundaries have been shrinking because of my mobility difficulties and, without a Blue Badge, they are likely to shrink even more. It’s scary. I am pleased and grateful that FPR is coming with me to the assessment. He’ll have to wear his best “Calming Bossymamma Down” hat.