Something, Or Not Something?

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Longyearbyen, Spitsbergen. August 2017

It’s been a bit of a break since my last post because not much has been happening, although quite a bit has been happening. Sounds like nonsense, doesn’t it? It isn’t nonsense, honestly.

As far as the Fibro is concerned, it’s true that not much has been happening – well, until the past few days. Where Life is concerned, things have been rather different, however. For a change, the Stuff has been happening in FPR’s family, not mine, but it does have an effect on me, of course.

What I have found is that the happening of Stuff has been accompanied by tiredness. I hesitate to call it fatigue as it hasn’t been quite like fatigue. The tiredness has been a slight nuisance, nothing more, except…

At the weekend, I went out with my son and his family for lunch at a local garden centre. I had hoped to accompany them to where they were going in the afternoon but didn’t feel quite up to it. During lunch we agreed that I would run an errand, to save him some time. When I moved in my chair to stand up, it became obvious that I wasn’t going to be able to fulfil that undertaking: I could feel Fatigue rushing towards me.

We headed towards the Exit, pausing to look at a display. As far as I was concerned, that pause was a mistake so I left them and returned home. By the time I got home I was shattered. In fact, I felt quite unwell. Throughout the afternoon and evening that feeling didn’t abate and, by the time I went to bed, my body felt alien. I had begun to feel pains in my arms that I hadn’t felt before. They differed from the pains I had been experiencing prior to taking turmeric – certainly, they felt sharper. Those pains continued through to the next day. I am sure that they were a direct result of me feeling so tired. Consequently, I feel that I need to avoid extreme tiredness, as far as I am able. Of course, it is not always possible, but I will certainly try. Maybe, it was coincidence and the Fibro has moved on a bit, but it has to be worth trying to avoid something that gives a good impression of a trigger.

* I drafted this post a couple of weeks ago but haven’t been able to publish it because accessing the internet has been difficult.

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Posted in Coping, Day to day life, Fatigue, Learning, Stress, Tiredness | Leave a comment

This Week I Have Been Mainly…

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No. Only one pair is mine.

Wasn’t The Fast Show great? (That’s where I borrowed this title from.) My family and I all loved it. Anyway, I digress.

This week I have been mainly suffering from…

Fibro Feet.

Don’t know what Fibro Feet is or are? Allow me to enlighten you, well, at least as to what Fibro Feet means for me.

It begins with a warm feeling in my feet which increases in intensity until my feet feel as though they are burning inside. The transition can be slow or fast. Surprisingly, if you were to touch my feet (which, by the way, is a very bad idea as I am so ticklish!), they wouldn’t feel any warmer than most people’s. Odd, huh? The next stage is the barely discernible transformation of the burning sensation into a feeling that, mainly the soles of both feet, are being stabbed repeatedly by red hot knives. That can last for five minutes or five hours – there’s just no way of predicting how long it will be. It makes walking painful and unpleasant: try imagining that when each step lands it feels as though the sole of your foot is being pierced all over by red hot, rusty nails.

Fibro Feet doesn’t always make me feel as though my feet are red hot, though. At other times there is little or no feeling of increasing heat in them. What I experience is the sensation of walking on shards of glass, lots of shards of glass, which are cutting my feet to shreds. This sensation is even worse that the hot knives one because, unlike the first one I explained, this one feels just as awful when I am sitting with my feet up, as it does when I am trying to walk. I have to admit that I try to avoid walking when my feet are feeling this way as it hurts so much.

There doesn’t appear to be any way of predicting when Fibro Feet will saunter into my day, nor how long it will hang around, but there’s no mistaking when it’s here.

 

Posted in Coping, Day to day life, Feet, Fibro Warrior, Pain, Shards of glass, Walking | Leave a comment

Tempting Providence

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A very clever elephant at Taronga Zoo in Sydney

I should have known better shouldn’t I? One should never tempt providence, but what did I do? I dangled a tasty carrot in front of providence, which it simpy couldn’t ignore. Silly me. Silly, silly me.

There was I, extolling the virtues of turmeric, smug as you like, and what happens? Yes, you’ve guessed it, the Fibro decided to rattle its cage! Grrrrr!

I don’t want to mislead anyone which I want to say, right now, that the rattle wasn’t deafening, although it was bad enough. It wasn’t that I was assailed by pain. On the contrary, it was actually fatigue that was causing the problems this week. Well, it started on Friday of last week, but it has definitely been hanging around for most of this week. It hasn’t been grossly debilitating as I have paced myself and worked around it, tackling tasks whenever I have had a splodge of energy. (I’ve no idea what a ‘splodge’ of energy is, it just felt like exactly the right word to describe the amount of energy available to me when I was doing things.)

This tends to be the way I manage day-to-day living best: by doing things whenever I feel brighter. Sometimes the brightness lasts a few hours, but it can be as little as a few minutes. I’ve lost count of the number of times I have collapsed in a heap after bringing an armful of laundry downstairs and setting it to wash. At least the washing machine takes long enough to go through its cycle, so that I can rest before having to empty it.

Posted in Coping, Day to day life, Fatigue, Fibro Warrior, Symptoms, Turmeric | Leave a comment

The Wonders Of Modern Science?

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Henry. A very special member of the family.

Oh, dear. Another gap in broadcasting. Oops.

In my last post, I said that, in this subsequent post, I might discuss what I thought may have contributed to the improvement in my Fibro. Amazingly, because I’m not good at following through on comments such as that one, that is what I am going to do!

Several months ago, my Baby Son (all 6′ 12″ of him!) suggested that using Golden Paste might improve my situation regarding the Fibromyalgia. He had been reading about Golden Paste and was giving it to his dogs. He said that many people use it for their own health problems. Following those discussions with him, I read a bit about it and, certainly, much of what I saw was positive. However, there was one problem, the thought of ingesting Golden Paste was distantly unappealing to me. I chatted to Baby Son again and he said that the paste was the best way to take it: the capsules do not work as effectively. The best compromise I could come up with for trying it, was for him to make some for me to try the next time I went to visit him. In the meantime, I noticed a few snippets about turmeric in the media.

Moving on from the discussion about the paste and before my next trip to see him, Baby Son found another miracle remedy. I tried that one during, and after, my next visit to him but it did absolutely nothing for me. A few days after that visit, I happened to overhear someone saying that she “couldn’t manage without [her] turmeric capsules”. Cue Bossymamma’s ears pricking up! This was said by someone whom I knew suffered greatly with arthritis.

At the time of the comment, I was still trialling the ‘new’ wonder cure so filed the information away for future reference.

The wonder cure wasn’t, so a return to the turmeric was scheduled.

I knew that I really didn’t want to try Golden Paste. Having heard confirmation of the efficacy of turmeric capsules, I decided that I would try those. When I was away for a few days with Little Sis, I mentioned that I would like to buy some turmeric capsules. We found a branch of Holland & Barrett, where I bought these **. I have been taking one capsule twice a day for about four weeks and they seem to be helping. The Fibro pain that I was experiencing in my arms has virtually gone and the arthritis pain in my shoulder has eased considerably. The fatigue also appears to have lessened. In fact, I have generally felt much better during the time that I have been taking turmeric, to the point where I had a period of 48 hours where I felt really well. Woohoo! I am still experiencing symptoms of Fibro, but, on the whole, those symptoms are far milder than immediately before I began taking the capsules.

Obviously, it is still early days and this is just my opinion, not a scientific trial, BUT I do feel as though taking turmeric is helping me. I shall continue to take the capsules and monitor the results.

The wonders of modern science? I think not. More a natural remedy that, if you can afford to (as it is quite expensive), is well worth trying.

 

** This is not an affiliate link. I have included the link simply to show the exact product that I have been trying.

Posted in Arm pain, Choices, Coping, Day to day life, Fibro Warrior, Good Day, Pain, Shoulder pain, Symptoms, Turmeric | Leave a comment

Was It Ordinary, Or Extraordinary?

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Morocco, 2012

Something ordinary happened this week. Something extraordinary happened this week, at the same time.

No, I’m not talking about the hottest June day in the United Kingdom since records began (when was that, by the way? Does anybody know, or even care?). My description of the weather we’ve had this week would need to be subjected to heavy editing, so what’s the point of me wasting the effort of explaining?

Back to my original statement and I think I need to set the scene for you. The subject bears a massive build-up. The news is of such import that several national newspapers, including all of the broadsheets, naturally, have halted their respective print-runs to quote me for their lead story. OK, I may have indulged in a tiny bit of exaggeration there, but I’m sure you’ll agree that if I were telling the editors my story, rather than you, my lovely followers, they would be sure to recognise  how important a statement I am sharing here.

FPR and I have been away for a few days this week – hence the silence in these parts. Unfortunately, the weather decided to spoil our holiday. It was stinking hot and sunny,  for the entire time we were away instead of being cool and comfortable. The result was that I saw hardly anything and did almost nothing. I have disliked hot weather all my life: it actually makes me feel physically ill. However, despite the horrid heat with the added “bonus” of Fibro, I didn’t feel any worse than I do in any heatwave! In fact, once the thermometer began to look more like its usual self, I felt brilliant or, to be more accurate, I felt absolutely bl##dy brilliant! Better than I have felt for months, certainly since Christmas!

This week I have been mainly feeling like ME! Not Fibro me, but proper ME!

I didn’t realise how well I was feeling immediately – a bit like not noticing when a man has shaved off his beard – but, once I did, it was amazing. I have been able to do things over the past couple of days without having to work out when I’m likely to have sufficient energy. I have dashed about from one place to another, filling my day with various tasks and activities and even played football (well, more like foot-balloon) with my grandsons! I’ve been having a great time!

I admit that I was tired last night, but it wasn’t the Fibro tiredness and exhaustion, it was just plain old tiredness. In fact, it felt so ordinary that I almost felt happy that I was tired!

In my next post I shall probably talk about what I think might be the reason for how I’ve been feeling. Don’t miss it.

 

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Waves Are Not Only On The Beach

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Waves aren’t only found on the beach, are they? If you’re like me, your hair has waves, but waves can also be abstract (thank you, FPR for giving me the word I was seeking), like a wave of sound. However, the waves I am talking about cannot be heard by anyone and only one person can feel them when they develop. They are waves of things like fatigue, nausea or hunger.

Just a few days ago, I was thinking about and enjoying the relative hiatus in my fatigue – tempting providence, some might say. I’m not sure if “tempting providence” would be the right description: I prefer to describe it as appreciating the good times. Anyway, within a few hours the good times had rolled.

It began on Saturday morning with me feeling quiet. I know that might seem like a strange word to describe how one is, but, really, it is the best word I can come up with to describe my whole demeanor. When I’m quiet, I don’t feel ill, but neither do I feel well; I don’t feel like doing anything but neither do I want to be doing nothing – it has to be a very low-key activity; I don’t feel like talking, or listening, but I don’t want silence – just some low background sound from something like the TV or radio. This “quiet” feeling lasted several hours then the waves began.

The first wave swept across me when I had popped upstairs for some reason. It was an “I don’t feel right” kind of wave. By the time I had gone back downstairs, the next wave was hitting: fatigue, followed quickly by a wave of hunger. As I hope you can tell, the waves were coming thick and fast. Hunger was followed by fatigue, which was being chased by nausea which, in turn, had hunger hard on its heels, but fatigue wasn’t letting hunger get away with that and quickly overtook it. It was a peculiar sensation having so many feelings sweeping over me. I really needed to sleep.

Nowadays, when fatigue hits, I have a sleep in my recliner chair. I don’t like going to bed during the day as I tend to sleep too deeply. Usually, sleeping in the chair in sufficient to refresh me. (I realise how lucky I am that my sleeping does tend to restore me.) However, when I tried to settle in my chair, I realised that it wasn’t where I needed to be. My body wanted to be lying down so, for the first time for many months, I lay on the sofa, but as soon as I lay down another wave of hunger hit, quickly followed by nausea. I knew that I needed to eat something, despite the sporadic waves of nausea. I grabbed a breakfast bar and managed to eat it before the nausea reappeared. As soon as I finished eating, I lay down again, falling asleep within a short time.

When I awoke, I felt much better and got through the rest of Saturday with no problem. Sunday was fairly good. On Monday morning, I had my regular post-breakfast nap but it lasted longer, and was deeper, than usual. I was awake in time to go to my regular Monday morning activity and was pretty much OK for the rest of the day – “OK” meaning I was able to do a little, then rest, then do some more and rest some more. I was more tired than usual in the evening and retired to bed earlier than I normally would. I slept well and got up around my usual time and had a cup of tea before my post-breakfast nap (P-BN). The only thing was that my P-BN was just the start: no sooner had I woken from it than I fell asleep. That sleep went on for longer than I would have liked as, by the time I came to, it was too late for me to go to Tuesday morning’s activity. That was disappointing as fatigue and other reasons have prevented me from attending several of those meetings.

I am due to go out this evening and am desperately hoping that, by taking things easy today, I shall be sufficiently hale and hearty to be able to go tonight. Fingers crossed!

 

Posted in Coping, Day to day life, Fatigue, Fibro Warrior, Nausea, Sleep, Sleeping, Tiredness | Leave a comment

The Lurker

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The Sage, Gateshead, May 2017

Before we start, I know this photograph probably breaks lots of photography rules but I like it. I like how busy it is, how it has so many elements and that it shows lots of things and nothing, all at the same time. Not only that, but when I was looking for a picture to put at the top of this post, it just seemed to fit with the title.

The Lurker is a pretty good name for Fibromyalgia, don’t you think? It’s always lurking in the background, even if it’s not making itself felt. The trick is, I think, not to always be thinking of it. I don’t mean that one should go ‘hell for leather’ whenever one feels OK, after all, that probably wouldn’t be sensible, but not to carry around nagging thoughts about how soon it might manifest and in what way. It’s a fine balance to achieve, trying to be simultaneously aware but unaware, but it’s necessary for one’s own good. I suppose the trick is to find a level for day-to-day living that allows you to do things you enjoy in a way that, one hopes, won’t aggravate the Fibro. Obviously Fibro isn’t only reactive to outside forces, it clearly has a very stubborn mind of its own, but I think we can agree that, at times, what one does can trigger a flare-up. So, we have to find that balance for how we live our lives.

Part of my own search for balance has been to take life down a notch. That has happened in lots of ways, some of which I have barely been aware of, others that I have consciously decided needed changing. I’ll tell you what, though, it can be an interesting journey.

 

Posted in Changes, Choices, Coping, Day to day life | Leave a comment